Case Study In Time Dilation
And I miss the days by the lake, just the grass, arboreal heat and an occasional duck temporising its surface. Just me and space —physicalised, temporalised, actualised. I think we’ve sought too much to give meaning to space. By that, I mean to the intangible allure of faux-proprietary. When it is just exactly that, space. Not so much the absence of form, but the act of non-being, of non-existence. The cemtre of a zero. How we’d assumed everything invisible is only material in relation to another—the wind, an atom, gravity. But a person born blind sees nothing, not the absence of light, but a complete void exhumed of all materiality, having had no concept of light/dark. I like to think then, at the end, you had no concept of what you’ve lost, drifting on a lake of sedatives, having found a tranquility extemporised in its silence. How I’d spent so much of the remaining years before rummaging through a closet of memories to conjure an articulate thought when the space was only material in its relation between me and you. How loss was only matter to the living, and theory to the dead. From the heat of the monitor, you were greying from the roots, much like the way a matchstick burns. And I’m reaching through distance, which is to say through space, which is to say through nullities, which is to say sums of infinities, which is to say I’m both here and light years away, having arrived at the end of the equation, and I’ve loved you past the point of oblivion.
